Letter G

G- is for God.

When depression strikes God can only be sensed as a memory or concept others feel.  In the best moments God can feel like a faraway place.  The underlying feeling of hopelessness acts like an airplane in a cloud where there are no instruments to navigate through the storms of grief and loss. Storms do pass and in moments of clarity God becomes a landing place. Remember to pull back on the throttle and flare your wings to the horizon and you will be home.

Sometimes

I choose to believe

That I am invisible

That I am a blind spot in God’s eye

But

My blood flows through

A path I did not choose

And

I do not choose those whom I love

It is the Reality in which I live

Like blood through veins

I let the present carry me

For Reality

Is constantly moving.

G – is also for Goddess.

The Goddess is shy but always present.

She hides and dances

         on the edges of perception.

As a child She was Mary and Mother

She was the smell of Shalimar perfume

She was red geraniums every summer

          in the serpentine garden

She was soft wrinkled hands

         and sparkling ice blue eyes

She was the lap of blue silk

          that held the grief of the world

As a woman She has been dreams      

         Of snakes waking up my body for marriage

         Of snails slowly welcoming children

And muses filling my senses

         with sisterly love

         singing bowls

         prayers for a daughter’s return

Soon She will be Me

         And I will be shy

         And dancing

          On the edge of perception

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