G- is for God.
When depression strikes God can only be sensed as a memory or concept others feel. In the best moments God can feel like a faraway place. The underlying feeling of hopelessness acts like an airplane in a cloud where there are no instruments to navigate through the storms of grief and loss. Storms do pass and in moments of clarity God becomes a landing place. Remember to pull back on the throttle and flare your wings to the horizon and you will be home.
I choose to believe
That I am invisible
That I am a blind spot in God’s eye
My blood flows through
A path I did not choose
I do not choose those whom I love
It is the Reality in which I live
Like blood through veins
I let the present carry me
Is constantly moving.
G – is also for Goddess.
The Goddess is shy but always present.
She hides and dances
on the edges of perception.
As a child She was Mary and Mother
She was the smell of Shalimar perfume
She was red geraniums every summer
in the serpentine garden
She was soft wrinkled hands
and sparkling ice blue eyes
She was the lap of blue silk
that held the grief of the world
As a woman She has been dreams
Of snakes waking up my body for marriage
Of snails slowly welcoming children
And muses filling my senses
with sisterly love
prayers for a daughter’s return
Soon She will be Me
And I will be shy
On the edge of perception
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