D – is for damage. Damage is done to relationships when depression enters the picture. Damage is done to trust that has been established with oneself and others. Depression feels like a turning in on oneself, you cannot trust yourself and others stop trusting you. Thinking is skewed and therefore, cannot be available in ways others have come to expect. Sometimes when I am depressed I cannot see my effect on others or I see it and feel helpless to do anything about it.
When I am stuck between self-absorption and guilt, I see forgiveness as a welcome mediator. Forgiveness is the missing ingredient. Just as bread cannot rise without yeast, relationships cannot be healed without forgiveness. Sometimes saying “I’m sorry” to myself encompasses everything. To first whisper to the sick child inside of me “I’m sorry you are sick. I’m sorry you are alone. I am sorry you are scared.” And to listen to others and recognize that they too are hurting from the absence of my presence physically and emotionally and to say, “I’m sorry, it’s not your fault.” I’m sorry can be a prayer for healing. It can be the start of healing for my beloved family and friends.
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