Letter C

C – C is for control. Having a breakdown is all about control. Loss of what I normally feel I am able to control, and control being exerted on my world by others can be paralyzing. Control is a word closely related to meaning. I feel in control when I feel knowledgeable, when things seem to be what they are. When I feel connected to Reality I feel in control. Life becomes consensual when I understand what is happening.  Conversely it is hard for me to see meaning when I feel out of control. This is where the work of returning to one’s soul begins. The soul has to be recognized in order to feel completely alive and in control of one’s life. The soul connects us to other people and the world and is where power lives. When life feels out of control I ask my soul for guidance and meaning arises. This asking is prayer. A prayer to slow down and catch my breath. To dwell in the present.

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